Hello, World

In fifth grade, my class was assigned to read “The Good Earth” by Pearl S. Buck. It was some of my earliest training in basic principles of capitalism. Own a factor of production and use it to generate profit. Instead of spending that profit frivolously, use it to buy more factors of production. Keep doing this long enough and you’ll find yourself smoking opium and screwing hookers in an upscale gentleman’s club.

This was the life I wanted to lead.

I’m not sure if that was the lesson I was supposed to take from the book, but such is art and interpretation. I asked my mom, to her amusement, if there were still land barons in the United States. She explained that large agricultural enterprise was in the hands of big companies, with very little controlled by individuals. At the time I wasn’t aware of the impending forces of globalization and realities of mass agribusiness. The environmental devastation, super-exploitation of labor, etc. – you know, the reason I can buy bananas at 39 cents a pound any day of the year.

At ten years old I was already browsing classified ads to see what kind of jobs existed and look at car advertisements. Knowing I wouldn’t be able to afford a Corvette off the bat, I went through a short-lived infatuation with the Mazda Miata. We will never speak of this again. Since agriculture was out of the picture, I started to check the “Businesses For Sale” section of the Sunday classifieds. I compared business prices to net income and came to the conclusion that liquor stores offer the best price-to-earnings ratio. So began my dream to own a huge chain of liquor stores.

I’ve never given up my lust for land, and to this day I regularly check websites that list ranches, farmland, and raw acreage for sale. I respect Ted Turner for buying Montana outright far more than for his charitable contributions and revolution of televised news.

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Despite what my credit card debt may suggest, I am an expert at budgeting, deal-seeking, and living below my means. That’s what this blog is ostensibly about. There’s a voyeuristic appeal to reading about the finances of other people; discussing personal finances being a minor taboo that makes no sense to me. Rich people keep their bragging to the realm of conspicuous consumption and poor people don’t like to talk about it. The real goal is to have something easy to write up regularly to keep myself motivated to create something of actual substance.

Hanging out with drunkards on Friday validated several of my beliefs. Truex said “work as hard as you can until you’re 30. That way, you’ll have plenty of options open when you’re ready to lessen your work load and focus on more important things in life.” Tom countered with “I’m still not convinced this isn’t all a sham” in reference to work, money, life, getting married, having kids, the American Dream. Tom is no pinko sympathizer, but his comments fit into place considering his cubicle shackles and an earlier discussion about needing to find some psychedelics.

My immediate goal is to work as hard as I can for the next year and play it from ear after that. My life will be a spartan, boring existence focused on accumulating wealth as quickly as possible. Getting started at 25 is much later than I intended, and I am a slave to compound interest. On the other hand, I’ve spent more time reading about “intentional communities” (communes) in the past couple weeks than I have actively looking for jobs. I’m a man of intense extremes: live for money or live for life, there is no middle ground. For the time being, I’ve chosen avarice.

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Assets:

Checking account: $400
Cash on hand: $103

Total Assets: $503

Liabilities:

Credit Card #1: $4882 @ 29.24% (seriously)
Credit Card #2: $2492 @ 19.24%
Credit Card #3: $400 @ 17.15

Total Liabilities: $7774