(8/2) Trip Report, Pt. 2: OCD, Addiction, Authenticity

T + 70 minutes: Done puking and I head downstairs for a smoke. Usually I don’t throw up until I absolutely can’t stand the nausea, then everything is perfect afterwards. This time I try a new strategy of only holding out an hour and not prolonging the torture, but the plan backfires. I’m still sick. Moreover, I’ve convinced myself this trip is going to be worthless. My mind isn’t racing yet. There’s nothing left for the mushrooms to show me. Just gonna have to grind out the unpleasant effects and wait until I come down.

Staggering around in vague figure-eights in the backyard, I notice the dog eying me suspiciously. I’ve never put much stock in the “animals KNOW” theory, but there’s plenty of anecdotal evidence that suggests it. My behavior tonight has been far outside the norm. Animals react to behavior, and I’m in a suggestible state where everything seems different to begin with.

(8/2) Trip Report, Pt. 1: The Car Salesman

I’ve been working on this since 8/2 and decided to break it up into multiple parts so I could keep working instead of constantly getting distracted with edits. This is nominally a trip report in that I am reporting on a trip, but it is more a collection of druggy thoughts.

Something I link to a little further down is the text of a speech on the history of the non-medical use of drugs in the United States. It delves into the origins of drug illegalization, specifically marijuana, without any explicit commentary on what the status should be today. The history clearly points to a pack of lies, but that itself does not entail anything: you can be right for the wrong reasons, although being wrong is more likely. Pro or con, there is something to learn from this link, so here it is again. It’s mostly unrelated to what follows, but so damn interesting.

—

“Shrooms are poison, that’s why they make you feel nauseous and hallucinate.” No, they aren’t. They’re just really hard for the human body to digest, which should also make you think. I’ve had these exact same thoughts before, I realize, as I look at pieces of barely digested mushroom float around the toilet in a mélange of juice and bile.

Thursday, 8/2/07 – 10:30pm. T + 60 minutes. Dose: 3.5 grams, Psilocybe cubensis, dried.